Finding the best psychologist for you can be difficult when you aren’t sure what to look for.

If you’re based in Edmonton, we’ve written a few helpful tips on signs of a good therapist, how to find a therapist if you have certain concerns, and some advice on finding a good match if you’ve never been to therapy. 

 

What are signs a therapist and client are not a good match?  

This is a challenging question. While there are general signs like the therapist dominating the conversation, dismissing what you are saying to not making you feel seen or heard, or not providing emotional safety, there can be additional factors that influence these experiences. Some factors include personality, personal biases, the sex of the therapist, style of therapy, approach, points of view, as well as religion, culture, use of language, and language barriers.

To break this down a little further, cultural insensitivity can arise out of genuine unfamiliarity. Your therapist might simply not understand the cultural context of a certain situation, which can make it difficult for them to create appropriate tools to help you navigate it. The sex of the therapist might make it uncomfortable to share certain things depending on your comfort. Language and communication style plays a role since the basis of therapy is conversational. Sometimes people feel better talking in a mix of two languages, or need a slower conversational pattern, or need more time to process the words, etc. If the therapist or the client is not fluent in the style of language of communication, it can create barriers. Having a similar worldview can be important too and often overlaps with shared cultural understanding.

Sometimes, a client-therapist mismatch might be due to the biases the client carries, due to past negative experiences with therapy, or a general negative outlook on therapy or the therapist. Not understanding what therapy entails can also contribute to mismatch, as well as the thought of there being a hierarchical imbalance in session.

There can be discord between a therapist and client depending on where the client is at on their level of readiness for change. Someone who is not ready, willing, or able to put in the effort to do the work can cause feelings of uncertainty for the client.

 

Are there any particular things a client should look for in a therapist if they have certain concerns? 

A client always needs to assess for themselves whether their personal needs in therapy are being met. For example, if the client wants to share a story and needs to be heard, but the therapist keeps interrupting them, then their need to be heard is not being met. Or if the client wants to be validated and the therapist isn’t doing that, they may need to talk to their therapist about not feeling heard or validated.

Your goals are the at the forefront of the therapists’ sessions and the way they intervene. The best psychologist for you will need to match how they address your goals or objectives. However, please note that how they intervene can cause feelings of discomfort and there are risks and benefits to every intervention and therapy in general. This means being clear about what you want to work on, how fast you want to move, and what kind of support you prefer is essential to discuss with your therapist at the onset of your sessions or in the free consult that Pearl Psychological offers. If your therapist is focusing on one direction and you feel pulled toward another, talking about this openly can help realign the work. Therapy is most effective when both you and your therapist share an understanding of the purpose and direction of your sessions, which is how ongoing rapport gets built and strengthens. The most satisfying thing for a therapist is making sure they create a space where you feel understood, safe, and genuinely supported in your growth.

Sometimes, therapists make potential interpretations to understand your situation. We present them as a possible hypothesis, not as a fact. However, if something we say does not fit well with you, not letting us know could create misunderstandings. Never hesitate to correct or clarify your therapist about you, your life, or your feelings, since it helps us stay aligned with your reality. Just remember that you need to help your therapist to help you!

In the end, sometimes the client-therapist match simply might not work. In that case, bring it up in your known final session with your therapist, ask your therapist for referrals – they won’t be offended – and let them know you are moving on or out of therapy with them. We want to be able to terminate healthily with you. We want you to get the help you deserve and to feel safe.

We always want feedback too. We don’t take it personally. Feedback also includes letting us know if we have understood you wrong or made an incorrect assumption. Sometimes the client is not always a match for us either.

At Pearl Psychological in Edmonton, our therapists are showing up in session ready to help, but as the client, you may not be ready to hear what is being said or take responsibility. This can become a block. Our therapists can help you move through your conflictual feelings and help motivate you for change. Choosing the best psychologist for you might include finding a therapist that specialises in a specific approach.

 

Any advice on finding a good match for people who have never been to therapy?  

Be willing to ask questions!! Before you make the consultation call, write down a list of things you are looking for in therapist, list any goals you want to achieve, and what you are wanting to know about how your therapist works. Then you can ask them how they can address your issues and goals in therapy sessions. Your therapist will answer any questions or concerns you may have. Of course, as therapists, we are trained to be unbiased, however, a particular lens can create conflict sometimes. So, it’s always best to ask if the therapist leads from a certain perspective.

Often, therapists have a certain client match as well, based on our level of training or the modalities that we use. For example, if a client is coming in and is not truly ready, a therapist with Motivational Interviewing skills can potentially help them move from one stage to the next of getting ready for change. Whereas a therapist without this training might want clients that are ready to commit to working on themselves because they may struggle to get the client more motivated.

Something important to remember when assessing your match with the therapist once you have already chosen them is time. Change is not going to happen overnight, just like your problem didn’t transpire overnight. Be willing to effortfully commit to at least 8-12 sessions of therapy for statistical change. However, depending on your level of trust and commitment to your therapist and the therapy process, hope and change can happen and be different for everyone. However, only you can be the judge of your feelings and level of comfort and trust you have with your therapist. If you are 2-5 sessions in and you still haven’t reached a level of comfort with your therapist, it may be time to have a chat with your therapist about your concerns and might be time for reconsideration. They might not be the best psychologist for you.

Be introspective. Whether it is about what you are struggling with or the pace you are comfortable working at. This can help you find the right therapist whose approach matches with your needs. You don’t need to find the “right” kind of therapy or therapist beforehand that knowledge can be developed through the process. For some, structured, skills-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help with things like motivation or managing daily tasks. For others, a therapist who works deep into patterns or past experiences might be more suitable. It usually takes a bit of exploration to find the best psychologist for you. It is important to remember that some days in therapy can be extremely hard, since they require you to access parts of your life that could be traumatic or heavy. This is normal! Healing requires you to tap into feelings you might have been avoiding, which can lead to some sessions being emotionally hard.

Overall, therapy is a collaborative relationship. While finding the right match may take time, once it clicks, it can become a powerful tool for healing growth and making change. If you’re based in Edmonton and would like to have a free 10-minute consultation with our team, send us a message or call us at 587-400-0300 for more information.